I have already been doing telephone psychotherapy for over a decade now. With each passing year I am aware increasingly more about exactly why this modality is so effective in working with couples in violent relationships.
For a long time I credited much of the efficacy by myself experience of having the ability to dip seriously into patient’ s felt meaning expressed vocally. The tube vision of my focus fosters keen accuracy. It’ s as though I exist in the session as being a vessel with virtually no agenda besides to be as clear as you can so that the patient views himself/herself.
I recently recognized that this modality of phone psychotherapy facilitates the patient’ s access to himself or herself unencumbered using the presence of their own lover.
Being You inside your Partner’ s Presence
The tendency to modify one’ s communications as a purpose of the feedback one particular sees from their lover is one of the major reasons couples treatment doesn’ t work with couples in violent relationships.
Consider it. Let’ s say that Theresa is actually sitting next to Lewis in their therapy treatment. And when she speaks about something disturbing her, she actually is aware of Stan’ s reaction to her comments. Reflexively, she will modify her message so as to regulate the approval/disapproval. It’ s the habit of success in their abusive romantic relationship.
Now if you place Theresa in one room and Stan in yet another room (or another area all together), view what happens. Suddenly, Theresa speaks much more authentically. Her statements are more in keeping with her encounter over her perception of his experience and his reaction to the girl.
The mere physical logistics of being able to have one main partner in a single room then one in another room apart from each other opens the doorway for each individual to see, listen to and feel oneself much more clearly. And as mentioned, this allows both people system for freer expression and a cleaner sharing with each other.
No one needs to be another within the other’ s presence, because for any moment in time you might be both together with your partner and with yourself openly and also truthfully.
Communication and Abusive Connection
Communication is significantly stunted within relationships characterized by romantic partner abuse. Conversation about “ difficult” topics is a tiptoe at the very best. Permission is not really standard; rather it does not take exclusion.
Whenever you introduce a platform that encourages and supports permission, people stumble upon being free of charge in themselves and at their dialogue. It will amaze you to see the impact this has on moving treatment forward especially for individuals in abusive relationships. Couple this particular platform/venue with the concepts of domestic abuse counseling and you have a recipe for effective romantic relationship abuse treatment.